I don’t really know that I have a purpose to posting a blog today. I guess I’ve just been thinking a lot this week and I wanted to post again. This week has been really exhausting and kind of stressful. I’m still taking summer course (only 1 week left) and I officially started my babysitting/mother’s helper job. Both of these activities are going fine. I suppose I’m just not used to the hectic and rather early schedule. I just want to go to the beach and soak up the sun.
Anyway I babysat again today and instead of just watching one 4 year old I had to watch two. We went to the playground, Imagination Kingdom, which was so much fun. The kids ran around and played on the see-saw, the swings, and climbed on the rocks. They had so much energy and I got tired just watching them. After that we went back to their house to play and eat lunch. After playing in the dirt we cleaned up and ate some pizza. 3 hours later I was getting kind of tired and so were the boys. I finally got them to decide to watch a movie and we decided to watch Wall-E. That is such a good movie, but I don’t understand why kids like it. It has very little talking and I even found myself getting distracted. They kept asking me questions about the movie though so I had to force myself to focus. About halfway through the movie my plans of keeping them calm by watching a movie were foiled when the power went out. Luckily my best friend (their cousin) was there to help me keep them occupied. We were put in jail and held prisoner. Eventually they let us out of jail and the power came back on.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my emotions. I have the curse of somewhat wearing my emotions on my sleeve. It is very easy to see on my face how I am feeling. This can be a real curse sometimes because I always feel like a whiner or a complainer because I’m upset. I frustrate people though because I can be obviously upset and I don’t open up to tell people what’s wrong. I don’t want to come off as annoying and something always stops me. I can never fully trust people with my heart and with my emotions. I always want to tell people and confide in people completely, but something always stops me and it’s something that I can’t get rid of.
I’m not really sure how that relates to kids or my day or how things tie together, but I guess it doesn’t really matter. I suppose, however, that if any connection can be drawn it’s that children can trust people easily and wear their emotions fully on their sleeve. I wish that I could do that. I wish that I could trust people and open up to people more than I do. I wish that I didn’t feel the need to apologize so much for seeming annoying. I guess that’s where I’m stuck right now. Just thinking about a lot of things and going about my normal day activities. I’m sure that all this thinking will pay off soon…it has to result in something at some point. All this week holds is a few more classes, time with friends, and more babysitting.
~Shannon
No comments:
Post a Comment